Sunday, October 07, 2012
cancer update
Well i am back @ TMC room 430 for the next step in the fight against cancer.
I have finished all of the chemo for this treatment and I am doing OK, just very tired right now. I feel like a train has just ran over me a lot. I am losing my hair a lot so my head will be bald soon. I have a lot of hats. so hopefully that will not be a problem for long.
in 2 more weeks we'll do more test to see how the blockage is doing, this will also tell the dr.s if the blockage is shrinking or we will have to stop the chemo treatment.
because the chemo isn't working on the cancer blockage.
I am feeling ok, just taking all of this cancer fighting one day at a time.
Please keep me in your prayers and lets beat this damn cancer......
Saturday, September 08, 2012
To my Son: Sean Patrick McStay
Dear Sean:
Right now, I am feeling ok and I have strength right now, so
what I will be doing over the next few weeks is to a lot of people I will be
typing and speaking my good-bye words to my friends all over the world.
My son, no one knows
when the cancer will finally overtake me, hopefully it’s not for a long time
but, while I can and I have somewhat a functional brain, and a few loose
marbles in my head, I want to be able to say good-bye.
Sean, Because of the divorce and other things, I know
absolutely not that much about you and, I have missed the last 14 years of your
life and as mine is fighting the cancer, this is the one thing that I wish that
I could change, but I can't. I remember that when we were trying to come up
with your name, no one liked my idea of Kordell, so I knew that you were going
to have an Irish last name and when I asked about Sean Patrick McStay, both sides
of the family liked that name.
I don’t know if you know this but we almost lost you the day
of your birth, your cord had gotten wrapped around your throat and for the
first week of your life I was really scared that you were going to die on us
but when we got you from the hospital, I was so happy that my little man was coming
home and that you looked very happy.
As I also told your sister, I have tried to keep a really
positive attitude about the cancer fight and never try to let it get me down.
When your grandfather was fighting his battle with Agent Orange Exposure, he
told me, "Mike, either I will beat this cancer or I will go back home to
God." That is exactly my thought about what’s going on with me and my
fight.
When I lived in South Korea and I would go to the baseball
games there, it would always make me sad when I would see the fathers and their
sons at these games, I so wanted you there with me so we could try and talk about
the game and what we thought about life and many things that parents try and teach
their children. When I went to the film
festivals in Korea to over them, I was always hoping that either you or your sister
could have come along so I could have shown you why I love going to the movies.
But I realized that, also like your sister, when you finally
do meet that special someone and that you do fall in love, I will not be there
and I will not know what kind of a boyfriend, fiancé, Husband and father you
will be when it is your time to do this important job and it really hurts me,
inside, when I think about these things.
From the little that I know about you, I know that you love
Jeff Dunham’s comedy; this is a trait that we both share together.
Also like I told your sister, It
really hurts me that I do not know that much about you and I want to so bad and
that is why I am stuck in what we call a catch-22.
What this means is that I am damned
if I go one way and I am damned if I go the other way on a decision, or another
way of looking at it is this, I have a choice to make and I have 2 answers and
both are wrong and neither one is right and it really bothers me.
I so want to see you and Claudia right
now, to get to know you and try to talk and to understand how and why you both
think. But at the same time, I do not you 2 around me so that your last
memories of me is that of a man that is withering away and dying of cancer.
This is one of the reasons that I am glad to be living by myself right now, my
family sees me every few days and that don't have to watch it slowly get worse
with each passing day.
This may not make sense to you but
my idea is that it’s a father who loves his kids and never wants to put them in
anything as hard as what I am going through right now. I have missed so much
and I will miss more about your 2 lives and now that is what bothers me the
most.
Just as your sister had a song that I would sing her when
she needed to go to sleep as a baby, this is your song that I would sing to you.
The songs title is:Nights are Forever Without You-England Dan and John Ford
Coley
I still have no idea why this song worked on you, but it
did. So on your special day when you decide to become a husband, please play
this song, if God lets me, I will try and drop in every once in a while.
When you were a baby, you were usually a very happy baby; you
just kind of went with the flow.
I remember that when you & your sister both needed a
nap, sometimes I was the favorite pillow and you both would want me to hold you
and then in about 2 minutes, you both would be sound asleep and it always
brought a smile to my face.
My Son, I do not know how much time I have left but I would
like to be your facebook friend and just so we can talk or not talk about anything
you want to.
I have been playing this song a lot lately and it’s about a
man who is dying and he’s trying to say goodbye to the people that he loves.
The songs title is: Terry Jack’s- Seasons in the Sun.
I have been thinking about you when I hear
this song. This is my little man and I so much do love him but I am not going
to be there when he grows up.
Sean, please remember this…Please Take care of yourself and
always remember…Well I know Jesus and I talk to God and I remember this from
when I was young; Faith, hope and love are some good things He gave us: And the
greatest is love."
Just please remember one thing about me, I am your father
and I will always love you, my son..
Love Dad.
Tuesday, September 04, 2012
Happy 16th Birthday Claudia Celine McStay
Dear Daughter:
Right now, I am feeling ok and I have strength right now, so
what I will be doing over the next few weeks is to a lot of people I will be
typing and speaking my good-bye words.
Claudia, no one
knows when the cancer will finally overtake me, hopefully it’s not for a long
time but, while I can and I have somewhat a functional brain, and a few loose
marbles in my head, I want to be able to say good-bye to you and to wish you a very happy 16th Birthday.
In a few weeks my daughter, you will turn 16 years old and as I look at that I know one huge thing about you. I know absolutely not that much about you and because of the divorce, I have missed the last 14 years of your life and as mine is fighting the cancer, this is the one thing that I wish that I could change, but I can't
I have tried to keep a really positive attitude about the cancer fight and never try to let it get me down. When your grandfather was fighting his battle with Agent Orange Exposure, he told me, "Mike, either I will beat this cancer or I will go back home to God." That is exactly my thought about whats going on with me and my fight.
It has been rarely that I have cried but when I have it has really bothered me..Please let me tell you the main example of it.
I went to the movies and saw the last Breaking Dawn, Twilight film and I was ok until one scene. It was when Bella was being walked down the aisle by her father to be married to Edward and as I was watching that, I just absolutely lost it and just started to cry and I didn't stop for a while. It had just hit me that on that special day when you find someone to love and become a wife to, I will not be there.
I will not know how you are as a wife, mom to your future family and it just really hurt. On the day that you were born the Dr. put you in my arms and the first thing I did was pray to God that please do not let me drop her! I also told you something that day..
I said, "Hello, Claudia Celine McStay, I am your father Flynn Michael McStay and I will love you for the rest of your life. I am now telling you this right now! one day there will be a boy who you will want to marry and I will make this poor mans life a living hell and he will regret this choice. But just remember when I am doing this it will because that I love you very much and I hope you will one day understand why I am doing this." You just had your eyes closed and looked so cute when I gave you back to the Dr's. I think you knew who I was and that you were safe.
It really hurts me that I do not know that much about you and I want to so bad and that is whey I am stuck in what we call a catch-22.
What this means is that I am damned if i go one way and I am damned if I go the other way on a decision, or another way of looking at it is this, I have a choice to make and I have 2 answers and both are wrong and neither one is right and it really bothers me.
I so want to see you and Sean right now, to get to know you and try to talk and to understand how and why you both think. But at the same time, I do not you 2 around me so that your last memories of me is that of a man that is withering away and dying of cancer. This is one of the reasons that I am glad to be living by myself right now, my family sees me every few days and that don't have to watch it slowly get worse with each passing day.
This may not make sense to you but my idea is that its a father who loves his kids and never wants to put them in anything as hard as what I am going through right now. I have missed so much and I will miss more about your 2 lives and now that is what bothers me the most.
When your special day happens I would like if if you would play this song on that day to remember me by..
The song is Todd Rundgren-Hello Its Me.
The reason is that when you were little, you used to love it when I would sing you to sleep and when you and mom just were not in synch with each other, I would sing you this song and the majority of the time you went right to sleep. I still to this day have no idea why this one worked but it did.
When you were born, you were the first little girl that my side of the family had had in years, so you were immediately a spoiled princesses and you knew it and you ate it all up!!! I remember a lot of small things about you. How you love Blue Clues and that small puppy dog.
I also remember a visit to CiCi pizza when you were about 1.5 years old. The manager asked who you took after when you were eating pizza and made a huge mess and my entire family looked at me and you then looked at me and just smiled at me.. I couldn't say anything, you were so a part of me!!
You loved it when i would pick you up and dance and just twirl you around. You always gave me this big smile and I knew that we were both very happy.
A while back I read on your Facebook that one of your friends called you a "RedNeck" and I knew exactly who you got that from and when you explained it to me, I really brought a smile to my face.
I just mentioned these 3 things because if i mentioned everything I would never be able to end this note..
When the days comes that it is really starting to look bad for me, please keep on going with your life. I want you to still go to parties, dances, movies.. I want you to have fun. Please remember that.
When that day comes that the cancer wins, please remember that you had a father who loved you very much and always will and If God lets me, I will drop by and check on you from time to time.
I heard this video today and thought of you. Its a father wishing the best for his child as they leave to go on their path of life.
Just always remember, you will always be my little girl and your Daddy will always love you..
I love you and will and still do miss you..have a very Happy 16th Birthday.
Friday, August 31, 2012
Why Eastwood Matters: Old School Star Reflects American Grit, Greatness
A scene from this year's blockbuster "The Avengers:"
Loki, the film's villain: I have an army
Tony Stark AKA Iron Man: We have a Hulk.
The Democratic Party may have virtually every celebrity in its hip pocket, including arguably the biggest star around, George Clooney.
The GOP has Clint Eastwood.
No contest.
Eastwood is the so-called "mystery speaker" slated to address the GOP faithful tonight during the final moments of the party's national convention. His speech represents more than just a slight uptick in the star power featured at the GOP convention.
It's a nod to the grit and greatness of America from an actor who has epitomized both for more than 50 years.
Today's stars may be younger, prettier and more commercially viable than Eastwood. The acting legend is 82 and rarely appears on screen these days - the upcoming "Trouble with the Curve" marks his first role since 2008's "Gran Torino."
Eastwood remains a legend for all the right reasons. His body of work reflects the actor's hard work, sound instincts and ability to tap into the national zeitgeist in a way few artists can.
He embraced law and order to its extremes with the Dirty Harry film series at a time when the country was roiled in the Vietnam War - and its aftermath. After cementing his name with violent movies he examined the nature of such actions with "Unforgiven," carefully reshaping his screen persona without abandoning its essential decency.
Even as his advancing years prevented him from playing the lead, his prosperous directorial career ("Mystic River," "Million Dollar Baby") kept his star white hot.
And, most of all, Eastwood never talked down to his audience. The longtime Republican didn't insult those who preferred a Bill Clinton or Barack Obama. He never felt compelled to lecture his massive fan base or use divisive language in interviews.
He just kept on working. He still is.
Tonight, Eastwood will use every ounce of his considerable gravitas to make the case for Mitt Romney. It's hard to imagine a Clooney or even Tom Hanks mustering a fraction of Eastwood's good will to make a similar case for President Obama.
Follow Christian Toto on Twitter @TotoMovies
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Hanwha Eagles Manager Quits...
|
|
 Even
a former big-league pitcher, a franchise slugger and Major
League-caliber southpaw were not enough to prevent Hanwha Eagles manager
Han Dae-hwa from quitting Tuesday .According to the Daejeon-based club, the 52-year-old tendered his resignation Monday and assistant coach Han Yong-duk will serve as interim manager for the remainder of the season from Tuesday. The Eagles have 28 games left in the 2012 season. “I apologize to fans for our bad record,” Han said. “I have realized I am not a competent manager. I knew it was only a matter of time before I had to leave the team but it is too bad this had to happen during the season.” Han was in the final year of a three-year contract. As of last week, the Eagles had the worst record in the Korea Baseball Organization (KBO) at 39-64 with two draws, 22 games behind the league-leading Samsung Lions and 15 games off fourth place, the lowest slot for the playoffs. There was a bright outlook for the Eagles, which finished last in 2010 and tied for sixth in 2011, after adding former Major League hurler Park Chan-ho and slugging first baseman Kim Tae-kyun to a roster that included left-handed fireballer Ryu Hyun-jin, who is currently on the big-league clubs’ radar. The 39-year-old Park has a 5-8 record with a 4.65 ERA and Kim is eyeing becoming the first player in 30 years to hit .400 in the Korean league. Ryu is also 5-8 with a seventh-best in the league 3.20 ERA. However, a sluggish offense, sixth in team batting average, and poor performance from the bullpen have dashed the Eagles’ hopes of reaching the postseason for the first time since 2007. Han was one of a few star players-turned-managers in the league. Known for his go-ahead, three-run home run against Japan in the final of the Baseball World Cup in 1982, Han made his professional debut with the OB Bears, the forerunner of the Doosan Bears, in 1983. But his heyday was from 1986 to 1993 with the Haitai Tigers (now the Kia Tigers), which won the Korean Series six times in that stretch. The third baseman also helped the LG Twins win the league championship in 1994. The Daejeon native hung up his cleats in 1997 with 163 home runs, 712 RBIs and a career batting average of .279. He also won eight Golden Gloves. |
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| ksw@koreatimes.co.kr |
Wednesday, August 01, 2012
a class mate from the class of 1984 Denison High School.
I JUST FOUND OUT TODAY.
Becky
Sue Wright, 46, went home to be with the Lord following a brief illness
Monday, June 18, 2012 at Texas Health Presbyterian-WNJ.
Becky was born December 27, 1965 in Denison, the daughter of Richard Neasbitt and Vonceil (Hubbard) Neasbitt Stiles. She graduated from Denison High School. Becky married John Wright. Her love of people led her to work for many years as a certified nurse assistant. She was a member of Hyde Park Baptist Church. Becky was a loving mother, grandmother, sister and friend. She will be greatly missed by all who knew and loved her.
Becky is survived by her beloved family: husband, John Wright of Denison; son, David Williamson, daughters, Dara Wright and Tatelyn Wright all of Denison; grandchildren, Dylan, Elyse and Benjamin; mother and stepfather, Jay and Vonceil Stiles of Celina, Texas; father and stepmother, Richard and Sue Neasbitt of Corsicana, Texas; sister and husband, Shelley Hill and husband, John of Denison; brother, Michael Neasbitt and wife, Debbie of Denison.
Funeral services will be held at 1 p.m. Thursday, June 21, 2012 at Fisher Funeral Chapel with Brother Jody Shires and Brother Cliff Lester officiating. Interment will follow in Cedarlawn Memorial Park. Family visitation will be held from 6 to 8 p.m. Wednesday, June 20, 2012 at Fisher Funeral Home.
Pallbearers will be John Wright, Michael Neasbitt, David Williamson, John Hill, Ken Smith and Ron Smith. Honorary pallbearers will be Jacoby Melton, Joshua Neasbitt, Scotty Neasbitt and Ty Perkins.
In lieu of flowers memorials may be made to Serenity House, 150 Orange Street, Abilene, TX 79601.
Condolences may be registered online at www.fisherfh.com.
Becky (Neasbitt) Wright (1965-2012)
Obituary
10 entries
- "My thoughts and my prayers are with the family through this..."- Mitzi Badgett Massie
Becky
Sue Wright, 46, went home to be with the Lord following a brief illness
Monday, June 18, 2012 at Texas Health Presbyterian-WNJ.Becky was born December 27, 1965 in Denison, the daughter of Richard Neasbitt and Vonceil (Hubbard) Neasbitt Stiles. She graduated from Denison High School. Becky married John Wright. Her love of people led her to work for many years as a certified nurse assistant. She was a member of Hyde Park Baptist Church. Becky was a loving mother, grandmother, sister and friend. She will be greatly missed by all who knew and loved her.
Becky is survived by her beloved family: husband, John Wright of Denison; son, David Williamson, daughters, Dara Wright and Tatelyn Wright all of Denison; grandchildren, Dylan, Elyse and Benjamin; mother and stepfather, Jay and Vonceil Stiles of Celina, Texas; father and stepmother, Richard and Sue Neasbitt of Corsicana, Texas; sister and husband, Shelley Hill and husband, John of Denison; brother, Michael Neasbitt and wife, Debbie of Denison.
Funeral services will be held at 1 p.m. Thursday, June 21, 2012 at Fisher Funeral Chapel with Brother Jody Shires and Brother Cliff Lester officiating. Interment will follow in Cedarlawn Memorial Park. Family visitation will be held from 6 to 8 p.m. Wednesday, June 20, 2012 at Fisher Funeral Home.
Pallbearers will be John Wright, Michael Neasbitt, David Williamson, John Hill, Ken Smith and Ron Smith. Honorary pallbearers will be Jacoby Melton, Joshua Neasbitt, Scotty Neasbitt and Ty Perkins.
In lieu of flowers memorials may be made to Serenity House, 150 Orange Street, Abilene, TX 79601.
Condolences may be registered online at www.fisherfh.com.
Sunday, July 29, 2012
One last ballgame for father and son By Evan Grant
ATLANTA — I took my father to a baseball game Friday. It was his last.
He is 87, dying from congestive heart failure and has been in the care of a hospice nurse for two months. We know what lies ahead shortly.
And yet, this is not a sad story.
Not in the least. Some 40 years ago, just down the block in what is now a parking lot, my dad introduced me to Major League Baseball. By taking my hand and walking with me on what was a perfect day — at least as far as I remember — into Atlanta-Fulton County Stadium, he opened a door to a world that has become my passion and my life. I wanted to simply try and repay him by taking him to one game as a way of saying thanks. It was going to be my Father's Day gift to him. Instead, it is about a gift he gave me.
This whole idea arose during spring training. Dad, who celebrated his 50th wedding anniversary to my mother in December, was in and out of the hospital on a couple of occasions because of fluid retention and what we assume is the continual decline in his heart function. One morning, his doctor called me in Arizona. "Evan, I think you should be prepared to lose your dad fairly soon," he said. I thought I had been prepared already. He's been in congestive heart failure for 13 years. In 1998, I had rushed back to Atlanta when he took sick and seemed to be failing fast. During that time, Mom and I made burial plans. When I finally had to leave to return to Dallas, he was still in the hospital, pale and frail. I hugged him tight, really thinking it would be the last time I'd see him. Somehow, he stabilized. Nearly a year later, a new cardiologist performed a second heart bypass on Dad with great results. But I knew then, the next episode would probably be the last.
For 10 years, I'd been preparing myself. Flood of memories Then baseball had to get in the way. After the doctor's call, I wandered around the Rangers complex in Surprise, my head flooded with memories of Dad and I at sporting events. As a child, that was our bond. He liked sports, and I loved them. There was a Hawks game for which he'd prepped me with stories about "Pistol Pete" and his droopy socks. The Hawks played a championship-caliber Milwaukee team that night, but I can't remember what Lew Alcindor or Pete Maravich did.
I only remember walking with my dad toward Alexander Memorial Coliseum. There was a Falcons game against Chicago. Later, during a five-year "exile" in South Florida after jobs dried up in Atlanta, there was an NBA exhibition in which Artis Gilmore nearly ran over my mom. There was a trip to Yankees spring training when I somehow scored a baseball autographed by both Mickey Mantle and Whitey Ford. There was a time he indulged me with wrestling tickets to see the "American Dream" Dusty Rhodes in a "Bunkhouse Match," whatever that was. We never saw it, though, because I was ejected from the arena for tossing an empty Coke cup at bad guy Jos LeDuc.
When I ask him at lunch Friday about his most vivid memory of us at a sporting event, he says: "Unfortunately, that wrestling match when you got ejected." I got it: That wasn't very sportsmanlike. And every year, there was a whole day trip to West Palm Beach to see my beloved Braves play a spring training game. Every spring, I found a game on the schedule that sounded exciting. We'd make plans and drive an hour — seemed like three or four at the time — from Fort Lauderdale to West Palm so I could hopefully see Phil Niekro and Jeff Burroughs and Brian Asselstine. Hey, it was the late 1970s, man. Plan takes root The conversation with the doctor wasn't nearly as depressing as it was inspiring. I wanted one last chance to spend time at a sporting event with Dad.
The Rangers schedule provided the slightest glimmer of hope. Father's Day weekend, they'd be in Atlanta, which meant so would I. I called my parents. "Mom, if he makes it until June, I'm taking Daddy to a baseball game," I said. First, she dismissed it. Then she, in her role of caretaker and guardian, explained all the logical reasons why it couldn't happen. I didn't budge. Her response: "Alevei!" It's Yiddish. Basically, it means: "we should be so lucky!"
We were very lucky. Dad began at-home hospice care in April. It is not a bad thing. The hospice people have reduced his medications dramatically. It may make it more difficult to prolong his life an extra couple of weeks or a month, but he is now more alert and energetic and he can, to some extent, enjoy what days remain. For him, though, enjoyment these days is mostly a bingo game. Or an outing to Costco, his favorite store on the planet, to sample foods and drive the electric cart while picking up household supplies. On Friday, when I see him for the first time in two months, he looks hunched over, but more steady on his legs than before. He hugs me close. "Are you excited about tonight?" I say. "Because I am." "I'm excited to be with my son."
Game day There are moments when I think this has become an exceptionally bad idea. He doesn't sound nearly as excited as I feel. His vision is so impaired now that when he squeezes lemon into his Diet Coke at lunch, he misses the glass by a couple of inches. His hearing is so impaired, he asks for repetition of almost every statement. If he can't see or hear, how can he enjoy the game? On top of that, I realize you can't account for everything shortly after we leave their apartment. I think I've got everything covered: wheelchair, handicapped parking, covered seats, a portable oxygen tank and the hospice number in case anything goes wrong. But I forgot to pack an umbrella and as we head downtown through miserable Atlanta traffic late Friday afternoon, it starts raining. Hard. Just before we arrive at Turner Field, the rain stops. A cool breeze is actually blowing instead of the humidity that enveloped as we left their apartment. As I wheel him into the stadium, I feel almost the same as I did on that summer afternoon in 1971 when Dad walked me by the hand into the stadium. I feel like everybody's watching us. And I feel an intense pride.
We take our seats behind home plate. I ask him what he can see, and he says only silhouettes of the players. He can hear the crowd noise, but not the P.A. announcer's lineups. He asks how Scott Feldman, one of his favorites, is doing on rehab. When Michael Young comes to the plate he says, "he's a helluva hitter isn't he?" He asks how that "fella who left for Philadelphia is doing." I say "Cliff Lee? They hardly think about him." I give him brief descriptions of plays, though a lot of time is spent in silence. He looks at a field he could see clearly 40 years ago. I look at my dad and see him as he was 40 years ago.
Tradition takes hold He wants peanuts, just as he always does at the ballpark. I'm a little worried they will frustrate him. Does he have the manual dexterity to crack them? Does he have the vision to separate shell from nut? Are they too salty for somebody whose body retains fluid like a sponge? I get them anyway. He shells and pops them into his mouth like a pro. Nelson Cruz doubles to give the Rangers the lead. "Cruz," he says, "he's a pretty fair hitter, isn't he?" "Yep." "Yep." He goes back to popping peanuts.
I go back to my brief descriptions of plays, leaning in ever closer so he can hear. An inning later, I instinctively lay my head on his shoulder, my arm wrapped around his shoulder. He is still popping peanuts. By the fifth inning, Dad is checking his audible watch. When the inning is over, I ask him if he's ready to go. "Yes," he says. "I think so." On the way out, I notice a photo collage of Atlanta-Fulton County Stadium's history. We stroll by it. The first photo is an aerial shot of the stadium and tiny specks are crawling along the plaza toward the stadium. That image of us walking to the stadium for the first time flashes through my mind vividly all over again. Now, however, it is joined by a new one: Dad and I, together at his last game.
I wheel him to the car. We listen to a couple of innings on the way back to the apartment. I call mom to let her know we are heading back. "How's he feel?" she says. I repeat the question to my dad. "A, number one," he shouts. Mom and I laugh. I take him home and hug and kiss them both. "Son," he says, "thank you for taking me to the game." No, Dad. Thank you.
Last June, Dallas Morning News baseball writer Evan Grant took his ailing father to a baseball game in his hometown of Atlanta. At that time, doctors didn’t think his father, Sheldon, would make it through the month. Grant wrote an emotional piece about his father and their relationship to each other and to the game of baseball. (Warning: grab a tissue.)
I’ve known Evan and his family for a long time. Sheldon was a gentle man with a fighting spirit. When doctors told him he couldn’t do something, he did it anyway. When they told him he had a year to live, he lived five more.
And then another.
Evan was in San Francisco yesterday getting ready to cover the Rangers game when he got a call from a nurse who said his father had taken a turn for the worse. He jumped on a plane and flew to Atlanta. He got to his father at 10PM last night. Evan and his mother, Rhoda, sat by Sheldon’s bed sharing life stories. Sheldon gave up his fight at 4:15AM (CST). He was 88. I just re-read the piece Evan wrote last year and it cleared my head of some of the silly things I think are important
Not in the least. Some 40 years ago, just down the block in what is now a parking lot, my dad introduced me to Major League Baseball. By taking my hand and walking with me on what was a perfect day — at least as far as I remember — into Atlanta-Fulton County Stadium, he opened a door to a world that has become my passion and my life. I wanted to simply try and repay him by taking him to one game as a way of saying thanks. It was going to be my Father's Day gift to him. Instead, it is about a gift he gave me.
This whole idea arose during spring training. Dad, who celebrated his 50th wedding anniversary to my mother in December, was in and out of the hospital on a couple of occasions because of fluid retention and what we assume is the continual decline in his heart function. One morning, his doctor called me in Arizona. "Evan, I think you should be prepared to lose your dad fairly soon," he said. I thought I had been prepared already. He's been in congestive heart failure for 13 years. In 1998, I had rushed back to Atlanta when he took sick and seemed to be failing fast. During that time, Mom and I made burial plans. When I finally had to leave to return to Dallas, he was still in the hospital, pale and frail. I hugged him tight, really thinking it would be the last time I'd see him. Somehow, he stabilized. Nearly a year later, a new cardiologist performed a second heart bypass on Dad with great results. But I knew then, the next episode would probably be the last.
For 10 years, I'd been preparing myself. Flood of memories Then baseball had to get in the way. After the doctor's call, I wandered around the Rangers complex in Surprise, my head flooded with memories of Dad and I at sporting events. As a child, that was our bond. He liked sports, and I loved them. There was a Hawks game for which he'd prepped me with stories about "Pistol Pete" and his droopy socks. The Hawks played a championship-caliber Milwaukee team that night, but I can't remember what Lew Alcindor or Pete Maravich did.
I only remember walking with my dad toward Alexander Memorial Coliseum. There was a Falcons game against Chicago. Later, during a five-year "exile" in South Florida after jobs dried up in Atlanta, there was an NBA exhibition in which Artis Gilmore nearly ran over my mom. There was a trip to Yankees spring training when I somehow scored a baseball autographed by both Mickey Mantle and Whitey Ford. There was a time he indulged me with wrestling tickets to see the "American Dream" Dusty Rhodes in a "Bunkhouse Match," whatever that was. We never saw it, though, because I was ejected from the arena for tossing an empty Coke cup at bad guy Jos LeDuc.
When I ask him at lunch Friday about his most vivid memory of us at a sporting event, he says: "Unfortunately, that wrestling match when you got ejected." I got it: That wasn't very sportsmanlike. And every year, there was a whole day trip to West Palm Beach to see my beloved Braves play a spring training game. Every spring, I found a game on the schedule that sounded exciting. We'd make plans and drive an hour — seemed like three or four at the time — from Fort Lauderdale to West Palm so I could hopefully see Phil Niekro and Jeff Burroughs and Brian Asselstine. Hey, it was the late 1970s, man. Plan takes root The conversation with the doctor wasn't nearly as depressing as it was inspiring. I wanted one last chance to spend time at a sporting event with Dad.
The Rangers schedule provided the slightest glimmer of hope. Father's Day weekend, they'd be in Atlanta, which meant so would I. I called my parents. "Mom, if he makes it until June, I'm taking Daddy to a baseball game," I said. First, she dismissed it. Then she, in her role of caretaker and guardian, explained all the logical reasons why it couldn't happen. I didn't budge. Her response: "Alevei!" It's Yiddish. Basically, it means: "we should be so lucky!"
We were very lucky. Dad began at-home hospice care in April. It is not a bad thing. The hospice people have reduced his medications dramatically. It may make it more difficult to prolong his life an extra couple of weeks or a month, but he is now more alert and energetic and he can, to some extent, enjoy what days remain. For him, though, enjoyment these days is mostly a bingo game. Or an outing to Costco, his favorite store on the planet, to sample foods and drive the electric cart while picking up household supplies. On Friday, when I see him for the first time in two months, he looks hunched over, but more steady on his legs than before. He hugs me close. "Are you excited about tonight?" I say. "Because I am." "I'm excited to be with my son."
Game day There are moments when I think this has become an exceptionally bad idea. He doesn't sound nearly as excited as I feel. His vision is so impaired now that when he squeezes lemon into his Diet Coke at lunch, he misses the glass by a couple of inches. His hearing is so impaired, he asks for repetition of almost every statement. If he can't see or hear, how can he enjoy the game? On top of that, I realize you can't account for everything shortly after we leave their apartment. I think I've got everything covered: wheelchair, handicapped parking, covered seats, a portable oxygen tank and the hospice number in case anything goes wrong. But I forgot to pack an umbrella and as we head downtown through miserable Atlanta traffic late Friday afternoon, it starts raining. Hard. Just before we arrive at Turner Field, the rain stops. A cool breeze is actually blowing instead of the humidity that enveloped as we left their apartment. As I wheel him into the stadium, I feel almost the same as I did on that summer afternoon in 1971 when Dad walked me by the hand into the stadium. I feel like everybody's watching us. And I feel an intense pride.
We take our seats behind home plate. I ask him what he can see, and he says only silhouettes of the players. He can hear the crowd noise, but not the P.A. announcer's lineups. He asks how Scott Feldman, one of his favorites, is doing on rehab. When Michael Young comes to the plate he says, "he's a helluva hitter isn't he?" He asks how that "fella who left for Philadelphia is doing." I say "Cliff Lee? They hardly think about him." I give him brief descriptions of plays, though a lot of time is spent in silence. He looks at a field he could see clearly 40 years ago. I look at my dad and see him as he was 40 years ago.
Tradition takes hold He wants peanuts, just as he always does at the ballpark. I'm a little worried they will frustrate him. Does he have the manual dexterity to crack them? Does he have the vision to separate shell from nut? Are they too salty for somebody whose body retains fluid like a sponge? I get them anyway. He shells and pops them into his mouth like a pro. Nelson Cruz doubles to give the Rangers the lead. "Cruz," he says, "he's a pretty fair hitter, isn't he?" "Yep." "Yep." He goes back to popping peanuts.
I go back to my brief descriptions of plays, leaning in ever closer so he can hear. An inning later, I instinctively lay my head on his shoulder, my arm wrapped around his shoulder. He is still popping peanuts. By the fifth inning, Dad is checking his audible watch. When the inning is over, I ask him if he's ready to go. "Yes," he says. "I think so." On the way out, I notice a photo collage of Atlanta-Fulton County Stadium's history. We stroll by it. The first photo is an aerial shot of the stadium and tiny specks are crawling along the plaza toward the stadium. That image of us walking to the stadium for the first time flashes through my mind vividly all over again. Now, however, it is joined by a new one: Dad and I, together at his last game.
I wheel him to the car. We listen to a couple of innings on the way back to the apartment. I call mom to let her know we are heading back. "How's he feel?" she says. I repeat the question to my dad. "A, number one," he shouts. Mom and I laugh. I take him home and hug and kiss them both. "Son," he says, "thank you for taking me to the game." No, Dad. Thank you.
Sad News: Sheldon Grant, Father of DMN Baseball Writer Evan Grant, Died Last Night
Evan
Grant with his father Sheldon at their last game together. Joey
Ivansco/Special Contributor. Photo courtesy of Dallas Morning News.
Last June, Dallas Morning News baseball writer Evan Grant took his ailing father to a baseball game in his hometown of Atlanta. At that time, doctors didn’t think his father, Sheldon, would make it through the month. Grant wrote an emotional piece about his father and their relationship to each other and to the game of baseball. (Warning: grab a tissue.)
I’ve known Evan and his family for a long time. Sheldon was a gentle man with a fighting spirit. When doctors told him he couldn’t do something, he did it anyway. When they told him he had a year to live, he lived five more.
And then another.
Evan was in San Francisco yesterday getting ready to cover the Rangers game when he got a call from a nurse who said his father had taken a turn for the worse. He jumped on a plane and flew to Atlanta. He got to his father at 10PM last night. Evan and his mother, Rhoda, sat by Sheldon’s bed sharing life stories. Sheldon gave up his fight at 4:15AM (CST). He was 88. I just re-read the piece Evan wrote last year and it cleared my head of some of the silly things I think are important
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Movie Review: The Dark Knight Rises (IMAX)
I really had no idea what to expect with this film. I had managed to avoid reading all of the
reviews and didn’t want to go in disappointed with this film. As you might
remember, this is the film that I chose as the #1 film to see this summer and
after seeing it, I sure am glad that I chose this film as my #1. It isn’t good,
it’s that great.
Now what is known about this film is that it takes place 8
years after the last film in the series, Gotham is a peace, Harvey Dent is loved
as Gotham’s savior and “The Batman” had retired due to no more war. The film
introduces you to a man that is pure evil by the name of Bane and you can see
that he has a whole new idea for Gotham, but until the end of the film you aren’t
really sure what his goal is for Gotham.
You also see that Gordon will soon be forced out of office because,
even though he is a war hero, Gotham is
no longer at war and when war comes, the hero inside him comes alive. But what
really helped the film along was the introduction of the policeman character of
John Blake, played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Every time he was in the film, he
took each character that he interacted with to the next level. You knew that
this man was capable of great things but by the time the film ends, it was so
obvious that I couldn’t believe that I missed it.
And once again, this film needs to be seen in the IMAX
format and when me and the audience say it, we really couldn’t believe how much
the screen was just filled with the Batman and the demons that he comes though
and in the end he overcomes.
And when Catwoman (Anne Hathaway) comes into the film one is
never sure of what her role is and by the end of the film, one still isn’t really
sure but she seemed happy with her decision.
All I can say is please see this film more that once just to
see if you have really seen all of what this film has to offer.
Grade: A+
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Movie Reviews: Ted, People Like Us, The Amazing Spider-Man, Ice Age 4
Ted
Now I had no idea what to expect when I actually sat down and decided to watch this film. The previews had just looked really insulting and made me feel like I could lose about 50+ I.Q. points after I watched this film. Something interesting happened after the film was over, I actually liked it and the audience that I saw this film with loved it.
The idea of the film was quite simple, a lonely little boy wants his teddy bear to be alive and some force grants him that wish and it is now 20+ years later and that teddy bear is still very active in this man’s life now.
Now if you are a fan of the 1980’s film “Flash Gordon” than the 2nd half of the films will really make a lot more scenes then if you have no idea about the film. I had and the little jokes really worked for me and it really took the humor to another level that neither the audience nor I were expecting.
Now if you’re a female and you think that this film will not work for you, then please remember that I saw this film with 5 ladies that were in their late 40’s and early 50’s and they were laughing louder and more than I was at this film.
If you get the chance please see it, if it comes to a Korean theater near you.
Grade B+
People Like Us
Now, I really didn’t know about this film except that this film was somewhat based on a true story. But with film like this one is never sure what actually happened and what was made for this film. That is also about what I felt about the film. It was a nice film to watch and it left the audience somewhat happy when they left the theater but once you left the theater, I soon forget that I had even watched this film.
If just really didn’t work for me. It’s a nice film but it just really brought nothing new to this type of film and it really felt like it was a TV-Lifetime movie on a bit of steroids. With a tad bit of better actors and a tad bit better story.
If you like this type of story then please see the film when you can, but if you don’t like this type of film, then please pass on this one.
Grade D
The Amazing Spider-Man
Have you ever just had a bad feeling about a film and then you go see it and your idea of the film gets confirmed.
If you a reader of this column, I selected this film as the #1 film not to see this summer and after seeing it, I sure can’t think of a reason that anyone should go and see it.
As you know this is a relaunch of the recent Spiderman Trilogy that concluded a few years back. I thought that in this relaunch that they might try and do a few ideas differently but when I can watch the film and predict everything that was going to happen.
The film started to fail with me quick and fast. I soon started to look at my watch and kept hopping that this film would end very fast. I will also say this I was in the minority of this opinion at the audience for this film. I really hated it while the majority f the audience I went with love it and the 2 people that I went with to see this film with, loved it.
If a relaunch offers nothing new, then why do it in the first place. It was just too easy to predict and I grew bored with it very fast. Please pass on this film.
Grade: D
Ice Age 4. Continental Drift
Well this was a very simple film to watch and to review. If you’re a fan of the first 3 then you’ll like this film. If you have a child that likes these types of cartoon films, then they will love this film also. (The film comes with a Maggie Simpson carton that the audience just seemed to love).
The few kids that didn’t like this film hadn’t seen the first 3 but the majority of the audience loved this film and wanted a part 5 asap.
The film is just a rehash of other parts of this story with a few new characters added to the film. But for some reason the film worked. We were told some of the back stories of a few of the characters and when Scrat was in the film, the children just laughed out louder.
If you like kid’s films or you have kids to take this film to, and then you and they will have a good time watching this one.
Grade: B
Now I had no idea what to expect when I actually sat down and decided to watch this film. The previews had just looked really insulting and made me feel like I could lose about 50+ I.Q. points after I watched this film. Something interesting happened after the film was over, I actually liked it and the audience that I saw this film with loved it.
The idea of the film was quite simple, a lonely little boy wants his teddy bear to be alive and some force grants him that wish and it is now 20+ years later and that teddy bear is still very active in this man’s life now.
Now if you are a fan of the 1980’s film “Flash Gordon” than the 2nd half of the films will really make a lot more scenes then if you have no idea about the film. I had and the little jokes really worked for me and it really took the humor to another level that neither the audience nor I were expecting.
Now if you’re a female and you think that this film will not work for you, then please remember that I saw this film with 5 ladies that were in their late 40’s and early 50’s and they were laughing louder and more than I was at this film.
If you get the chance please see it, if it comes to a Korean theater near you.
Grade B+
People Like Us
Now, I really didn’t know about this film except that this film was somewhat based on a true story. But with film like this one is never sure what actually happened and what was made for this film. That is also about what I felt about the film. It was a nice film to watch and it left the audience somewhat happy when they left the theater but once you left the theater, I soon forget that I had even watched this film.
If just really didn’t work for me. It’s a nice film but it just really brought nothing new to this type of film and it really felt like it was a TV-Lifetime movie on a bit of steroids. With a tad bit of better actors and a tad bit better story.
If you like this type of story then please see the film when you can, but if you don’t like this type of film, then please pass on this one.
Grade D
The Amazing Spider-Man
Have you ever just had a bad feeling about a film and then you go see it and your idea of the film gets confirmed.
If you a reader of this column, I selected this film as the #1 film not to see this summer and after seeing it, I sure can’t think of a reason that anyone should go and see it.
As you know this is a relaunch of the recent Spiderman Trilogy that concluded a few years back. I thought that in this relaunch that they might try and do a few ideas differently but when I can watch the film and predict everything that was going to happen.
The film started to fail with me quick and fast. I soon started to look at my watch and kept hopping that this film would end very fast. I will also say this I was in the minority of this opinion at the audience for this film. I really hated it while the majority f the audience I went with love it and the 2 people that I went with to see this film with, loved it.
If a relaunch offers nothing new, then why do it in the first place. It was just too easy to predict and I grew bored with it very fast. Please pass on this film.
Grade: D
Ice Age 4. Continental Drift
Well this was a very simple film to watch and to review. If you’re a fan of the first 3 then you’ll like this film. If you have a child that likes these types of cartoon films, then they will love this film also. (The film comes with a Maggie Simpson carton that the audience just seemed to love).
The few kids that didn’t like this film hadn’t seen the first 3 but the majority of the audience loved this film and wanted a part 5 asap.
The film is just a rehash of other parts of this story with a few new characters added to the film. But for some reason the film worked. We were told some of the back stories of a few of the characters and when Scrat was in the film, the children just laughed out louder.
If you like kid’s films or you have kids to take this film to, and then you and they will have a good time watching this one.
Grade: B
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