Friday, October 07, 2011

ITS SO HARD TO SAY GOODBYE TO YESTERDAY...



Well this will be my last article for Socius for awhile dear readers. For those who do not know, my cancer has returned very aggressively and my Korean doctor states that I have stage 4 cancer and that I might have 1 year left in this world. I will be leaving Korea between the 10th and 14 of October to go back to Dallas Texas and get a 2nd opinion and fight this bastard named cancer.



When I got the bad news, I was lucky I had some friends with me in the hospital room visiting me and after a few moments I said, "Ok pitty party is over!, I want to hear stories about Beer and Girls!!" I thought a lot about this Tim McGraw song and I have tried to do this. I have really taken the advice that my father gave me when he was facing his cancer battle. He told me, "Mike, I will either beat this cancer or I am going home to God."

I have told many of you this exact same thing and I believe it!

I am not angry or upset that the cancer has came back, I am actually quite ok with it. Sometimes bad things happen and we don't know why, we just have to deal with it and pray to God that in the end it will be all right.

Now I want to say goodbye to all of the wonderful people at Woosong University and Daehundae Church who have and are helping with many different fundraisers. I do not have the world to say thank you and I will really miss a lot of the teachers from there.

A few weeks ago a few of us went to the Hanwha Eagles baseball game. Me and Beth both caught a souvenir baseball thrown to the outfield crowd.



And it got me to thinking about my 5+ years of watching games there with friends and fellow teachers. We have had some of the most interesting conversations about many varied subjects from all over the world and the majority of them haven't been about baseball. I will really miss going to the Hanwha games and maybe, just maybe, one day the will win another KBO title.

To the Socius reader, thank you for putting up with my views of what the hell I think a good film should be and why you should or shouldn't see a film. I Have always called it liked I saw it and a few times you, the reader, really let me know that either I was a genius for agreeing with you or I was a redneck hillbilly for not agreeing with you point of view. I thank you for making me on of the few ex-pat film critics that stories got posted world wide. I will try later and continue the film reviews but it will depend on my health.



Over the last few decades, this song "Amazing Grace - Bagpipes" has been a staple of US military vets funerals. I have always loved this song because of the things I did for King and country when I served and that this song believe of eternal salvation can be achieved by anyone, if they believe in God. This gave me a lot of strength when times in the hospital weren't that great. If I do die soon, please play this at my funeral.



I was also thinking of this song a lot lately. I got a bad break again with this cancer and I have to fight it once again. But if this is my destiny set out by God, all I can do is follow his instructions and fight. But I also remember all of my friends who I have met along the path. " I COULD HAVE MISSED THE PAIN BUT I WOULD HAVE HAD TO MISS THE DANCE." is one of the lyrics in this song and I have thought a lot about that. I will miss you and I am hating the fact that I have to leave Korea but I am glad that I got to know alot of you and even better, call a lot of you my friends.

The Dance-Lyrics...

Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared beneath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I the king
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance


To my former students, I will miss you. I have really enjoyed watching a few of you learn about life love and soon babies will be in your life.



I got to see a newborn baby when i was in the hospital and I immediately thought of this song. I am a teacher and I am trying to teach the next generation and that they will learn much more that I will ever know. Lord, if these are the times of war, let me face them, i am a fighter, please let my students know nothing of this and let them live the rest of there lives in peace.

please remember this my friends, from a song that I love...

but I know Jesus and I talk to God
and I remember this from when I was young
Faith, Hope and Love are some good things He gave us
and the greatest is Love, the greatest is love.

I don't know my future right now here on earth. I will try and beat this damned cancer or I go home to God. After I leave Korea, I hope to see you again, either on this side or the other. Goodbye to my 2 children, my son and my daughter. I love you both very much!!!



Goodbye, farewell and amen!

2 comments:

Dan said...

Well said goodbye, Mike. You will definitely be missed here in Korea. I'll try and think of some good stories of beer and girls for the next time I see ya. All the best and good luck in Dallas!

Shinsano said...

Hey Mike. Well put and I wish you the very best. I've only known you through your comments on my old blog, and what you've written here, and my impression has always been that you're a decent guy. Take care and keep us posted on your recovery.