Monday, February 13, 2006

Now for the final part of my review of the movies from 2005. This is the part where I say WTF. What were they thinking when they gave the word go to this film. You will see some hits and misses in this section. The one thing that all films have in common in this section is that the film should have never been made in the first place. This will go from the most to the least.

1. Herbie- Fully Loaded

What a joke this was, they actually wanted you to believe that NASCAR would let a VW Bug race and that teen drama queen, Lindsay Lohan was a race driver. I saw it and I still do not believe what I actually saw. Walt Disney Company, you should be very ashamed for making this turkey.

2. The Amityville Horror (2005)

Ok why remake this bad joke from 30 years ago? It was proven that he lied and that this never happened but oh not let do a remake and maybe milk this for what it can be worth. I still can not believe that I actually paid $ for this.

3. Sahara

Ok let’s have a cute couple (Matthew McConaughey and Penélope Cruz), Confederate gold and a plot so bad that nothing made any sense at all and by the end you are thinking, I want to file a lawsuit for losing I.Q. points for this one. Still can’t believe I paid to see this.

4. Are We There Yet?

This was not a good year for Ice Cube (XXX2 & THIS). Let’s take kids and place them in very stupid non believable action from all over the USA and the audience will love us for it. By the time the film was over I wanted to burn Cube’s Union Card so he would never make another film as bad as this one.

5. The Interpreter

Ok for this one, let’s go the U.N., have a murder discussed in a very rare language that Nichole Kidman knows because she was raised in Africa and let’s include a very moody Sean Penn and let’s see if it works. For a film to work, it must make the audience believe that what they are seeing is real. The only thing real about this film was the $ I lost by buying a ticket for this.

6. Bewitched

Once again Nichole Kidman and once again I could not believe that they would take a childhood favorite TV show and blow it all to heck with this junk. What were they thinking when they cast this and why remake a classic TV show.
7. Cinderella Man.

I usually will go see Russell Crowe in a movie but even I had a hard time with all of the lies in this film. One of my hobbies is that of a huge boxing fan so I knew the background of this fight and when I saw lie after lie about Max Baer I just finally walked out of the movie and will never watch this lie ever again.

8. Miss Congeniality 2

For the same reasons I will go see a Russell Crowe film, I will go see any movie that has Sandra Bullock listed as a star and I am slowly starting to think that she has what I call the “Bruce Willis Syndrome.” For every good acting role she has (Crash, Speed) she has a huge bomb to follow (This, Speed 2). I guess it was time for the bomb and it blew apart my wallet for this one and the money is gone and never to return for this one.

9. The Brothers Grimm

Please see my review of this film and my opinion has not changed any about it. This eye sore needs to be avoided at all cost and as Adam said, “Watch the Korean Checkers TV Channel than watch this film” He is so right about this film.

10. Bad News Bears

Why are they remaking my favorite films from the 70’s and turning them into very bad garbage? Sad to say this was a horrible film and my only relief was that this was a free movie viewing and that I did not pay for it. Billy Bob is no Walter Matthau and the film just never could get over that basic fact.

11. Chicken Little

After this film was released, Walt Disney purchased Pixar. I thought that it was in response to the failure of this film. It did ok at the box office but in my review I stated that the film had no soul and no Disney magic. I guess Disney thought the same thing. Let Pixar make the computer film and get the animation division back together. Howling Moons Castle proved that world –wide drawing can still make money. I just hope that Disney can realize that before they make an attempt at another bad CGI film.

12. Fantastic 4

One again a comic Book adaptation and once again I am left wondering why I spent any money on watching this. Bad casting and a very bad plot was just too much and caused this film to fail. It made money world wide and they are talking about #2 very soon. I can only hope that they actually have a plot in this one.

13. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

The entire time I was watching this remake, I kept thinking, Michael Jackson and it just seemed way too weird for this film. Once again the original with Gene Wilder was a favorite of my childhood and once again a 1970’s memory is torn apart by a very bad story that I just wanted it to be over and once again very upset that I spent my $ on this junk.

And last but not least was this clunker..

14. The Cave

I GUESS THAT THEIR WAS A PLOT BUT TO BE HONEST I SURE DO NOT REMEMBER IT. All I remember is that it came to CGV, I paid $ to se it and after it was over I wanted to find the director and hit him with a brick. I love good horror films I can even handle bad horror films that are so bad that they are funny, but this was none of the above and should not be seen ever again.

Well readers this is the list for my look at the films from 2005.

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