Today is Nov. 11th.

In Korea is Pepro Day I have seen allot of candy sold and I gave my middle school female students 2 boxes each of the sticks and they loved it.

For me thought, today is Veterans Day. I just went outside and pored coke in the memory of the vets that were my friends and leader and father. I have done this every v day since we started this back in 1992 when we drank brew to remember that we had not forgotten you. In the past years I have told stories about my time in the US Army. I Will tell another story but its not a good story and its about me and something I have carried for 11 years now. To be honest, I am not proud of what I did that day and to be honest I have always blamed myself for a huge part of it. I consider this one of the worst moments in my life.

It started out like any other stoopid case that I had done with the PX. They had detained a soldier for shoplifting (Stealing) and I was dispatched to take care of the paperwork and to arrest the soldier. (I will not name any names in this story but mine) I asked the PX guard what he has seen on the tape and when I saw it I really could not believe it. The fool had ripped a page out of a playboy magazine and then squirted vasaline over his hands and had taken one can out of a skhol chewing tobacco and was headed to the mens bathroom when he was detained.

Yes this part is right he was going to M%$^%$$$ in the bathroom, while dipping tobacco. I just started laughing. So I did the search and the total amount of damage was about 20-25 $ to AAFES Property. I recall that me and my partner that day were both laughing over this story while we were at the px. We do not ask him any questions but take him back to the police station and make sure he washes his hands.

So then we have to notify the Desk Sgt. about what is going on and when we tell him the story, he starts to laugh. It was just really funny. The soldier invokes his rights so we can not ask him any questions about the case, we just get his Id card, his unit and personal info and turn him over to the desk sgt. We finish the case and are turn in the paperwork and return to duty. Now normally the story ends at this part but nope not this one.

We are called back to the MP Station to have a briefing with this soldiers 1sgt. Well this was not normal and we soon found out why. It seems that this soldiers was assigned to the Unit that had reserve Drill SGTS AND Reserve leadership, so that had no idea what had happened and we soon realized that we were going to have to teach them about US Military Law.

Well we tell the 1sgt exactly what went down and what his solder was doing, we then found out that he was going to be charged with failure to obey lawful order, because he went to the px after he has left the medical center. (WHICH WAS A HUGE NO-NO FOR THE PRIVATES)I was thinking man, this kid is fracked. Well as were we ready to leave, his Captain shows up, A reserve Female Captain show up to pick up the soldier to his unit. She ask what exactly happened, so I look at the desk Sgt and he nods, so I am telling a female us army officer that her soldier had been observed and she did not put any of it together and when I had to tell her exactly what he was going to do in the male bathroom, I thought my chain of command was going to die of laughter. So the soldier was taken back to his unit and we had a huge laugh at his expanse. What I did not realize until later was that he heard us brief his chain of command of his experience. (I to this day blame myself for that and I should have known better.)

A few days later My First line supervisor, tells me what happened to the soldier.

The unit decided to do a mass punishment of all of the soldiers for this one idiots stupidity and when it happened, the unit decided to throw the soldier a blanket party and he got the shit kicked out of him. He went AWOL, Checked into a hotel room, somehow obtained a shotgun and wrote his dad a suicide letter and then proceeded to shoot himself in the face with the gun, killing himself very fast.

I was upset about it but I kept it to myself, it was not until years later I realized I was still carrying this kids death with me. I still question myself every few moths about this case and ask myself, did we, by talking shit about him, did we push him over the edge and he killed himself? A few moths ago I saw this was a huge poison that I was carrying and I have never told about what i had done or how I had and still do blame myself for this one.

I went to Jesus and God in prayer and asked them to forgive me for my arrogance and to forgive me for this terrible sin, that I have carried for 11 years.

After the prayer, I felt better.

i knew that I had to tell this story today, for myself and for anyone else that could be in the same boat. Even though, I know, that God has forgiven me, I have no idea if I will ever be able to forgive myself for his death, I still wonder, what or anything, I could have done to not have the story end in the way that it did. ITS 11 YEARS + LATER AND I STILL DO NOT HAVE AN ANSWER.