Sunday, March 29, 2009

Movie review. The Knowing.

For this month’s film review, I decided to have a good meal while I watched this film. I had some chicken. A small piece of squid and some popcorn.

As I started to eat the chicken, I was thinking to myself, "Was this a Korean chicken and would he/she be mad that he/she was going to be eaten by an American" or would the chicken be happy that it was going to enjoyed by an American and not eaten by a Japanese person." I then started to think what is a chicken like here in Korea?

Did the chicken go to school for 15 hours a day to learn to cluck and to learn to say that Dokto is Korea. I was wondering did the chickens have posters and drinking pens with the beautiful Dokto Rocks on them?

Then I started to wonder what kind of music did this chicken like. Did it like to work out and cluck with the "Wondergirls" or was the chicken a "Girls Generation" fan and did this chicken and many other chickens, at feeding time, have a clucking contest over which K-Pop Group music was conducive to laying eggs to feed other Koreans.

I then started to eat another piece of the chicken and I was wondering was the chicken upset that I ate a Korean Chicken and I did not eat any mad cow USA meat along with it. I was also wondering did this chicken, and other chickens, last year join the debate and protest over US Beef coming into Korea, I was thinking I hope that this chicken was pro-US Beef because if I had an USA hamburger, I would not be eating this chicken right now and this whole idea would be moot.

As I kept eating this chicken, I kept wondering, should I have soju and kimchi with this chicken? Do Korean chickens like soju and kimchi? Are they given a daily ration of both of Koreans; staples to make the chickens into a better Korean chicken and not into a pro-Japanese chicken?

I then took a look at the piece of squid that I had and I was thinking about it. Did this squid have a family, did this squid know about love and was this squid loved in its life? I then wondered did this piece of squid want to go to Korea or did it want to go to Japan? Did my piece of squid decide to go towards the Korean boat than the Japanese’s boat. Was this squid on its way to Dokto and was at first captured by a Japanese fishing boat and decided that it loved Korea in its heart and escaped for that boat and swam toward a Korean boat, while singing the lasted K-pop song?

I felt sorry for this piece of squid and did not eat it.

I then looked at the popcorn that I had with this meal and I started thinking about this popcorn. Was this popcorn from a Korean Corn Cob or this piece of corn make its way into Korea via a ship and with a 600% tariff attached to it. I was also wondering, with all of the popcorn that we see at movie theaters all over the word, does popcorn like moves and if it does will it taste better at a good movie or does popcorn know, before you do, that the film that you are about to take it to and eat the plain or caramel added popcorn, let out a secret bad taste when you are stuck watching a very bad film. Because as I was watching this film, the popcorn taste seemed to get worse and worse as the film went on.

I then thought that I heard the chicken, which I just had for lunch, turn in my stomach because it had been sacrificed for my lunch while I watched this bad of a film.

Now please remember that in the USA we have a date called April Fools' Day. The day is marked by the setting in motion of hoaxes and other practical jokes of varying sophistication on friends, family members, enemies, and neighbors, or sending them on fool's errand, the aim of which is to embarrass the gullible and to laugh your butt off. The idea of this review was exactly what I was thinking while I saw this film. The lunch story, however sad and misplaced it is, was much better than this film.

Please pass on this film at all cost and think about your next meal and what feelings were involved in it. Once again, I see the crap, so you don't have to.

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