Tuesday, December 27, 2005

My co-worker wrote this about the kids in our school, sad to say, she is dead on right with this article. The Harry, Your butt sexy is still one of my favorite lines ever heard in the class. Enjoy the article

There's no escaping fate!

In most of the English institutes that I have been acquainted with, the Korean students take on an English nickname. I have noticed that students who take certain names tend to be similar in character. Based on this observation and my own personal whimsy, I have found that traits of a new student can be accurately predicted based on the English name that he or she chooses. It’s kind of like a horoscope.

So, with this in mind, I have catalogued the most predominant of those names that chose ever so scientifically:

Harry: As my director pointed out to me, “all our Harrys are…distracted.” In my experience, Harrys are amazing students if they like the teacher enough (as evidenced by my “sexy butt” column), pick up on conversational niceties quicker than the actual meat of the conversation, and can be counted on to participate in class and do their assignments.

John: Johns tend to be “good kids.” They don’t make trouble, aren’t disruptive, and generally don’t seem to be completely disinterested in learning English. However, their homework will be completed sporadically, and their attempts to participate in class will often be fractured and incorrect. However, you can’t help but feel sympathy for the kid because you know he’s trying.

Jason: Jasons tend to be bright, but undisciplined. They will be the first to raise their hand to answer a question, but they’re also the most likely to not bring their book to class and to yell like an idiot. They can be very active as well, to the point of being disruptive to the class. I had one “Jason” that initially thought his name was “sit down!”

Justin: Justins are very good natured, but don’t have a clue as to what’s happening around them. When asked a question, Justins will usually look up like a startled rabbit in a field, make a sound like “uuuhh?!?” and then smile and laugh without giving an answer.

Jimmy: Jimmy’s don’t know that “Jimmy” is a nickname for “James.” Jimmys tend to be leaders and very vocal in the classroom. They are genuinely interested in communicating with their instructors, and will use whatever means necessary to get their point across, such as pantomime with sound effects.

David: Davids are usually good kids, but they tend to play sidekick to a stronger student. Their behavior is usually dependent on the behavior of the student they follow. If they’re following a Jimmy, then you’ll have two great students to chat with. However, if they’re following a Jason, you might have a few problems.

Rachael: Rachaels are studious, inquisitive, and usually the best student in the class. Her handwriting will be better than yours, and she will be organized to a fault. The other students will try to copy from her.

Nicky: (for a female) Nickys are slightly better than average students, and will be interested in your personal life far more than the material being taught. They will learn to ask questions very quickly, but will be unable to tell you what day of the week it is.

Jenny: (NOT Jennifer). They probably don’t know that “Jenny” is short for “Jennifer,” but don’t let that fool you because Jennys, like Rachaels, are very studious.

Jessica: Jessicas tend to be very vocal and interested in English as a means of communication and not as another academic subject. They can be disruptive and dominant at times, so you should be very careful to keep them in line.

I hope this guide will help us English teachers to avoid messy situations in the future by naming all of our students names that will ensure their obedience and enthusiasm for learning! And if it doesn’t work, I’ll send you another list free of charge.

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