The last section for 2006 is called, “WTF.” Basically these are films that should have never been made in the first place and the smell that they left at in the box office still lingers into 2007. I would like the meet the people that green-light these films some serious questions of, why did you do this to us? What did we do to deserve this?
I guess they were going for a thriller type of move. What we got was a film so bad that I wanted to take away Harrison Ford’s acting license away for this one. It was a huge waste of money for Warner Brothers.
19.Seducing Mr. Perfect
I still cannot understand why they even bothered to make this film. No story, no plot and this was supposed to be a love story. What a huge waste of the so called new Korean wave man Daniel Henney.
18.The Kings Men
This was just too much to sit through. I thought it was going to have a plot. After this film was over, I wasn’t even sure if I watched a bad film or just a really bad job of editing. It was just all over the place with me thinking, why I should even care about any of this. A very bad film, indeed.
17.When A Stranger Calls
Why was this film remade? The original was bad in 1979 and the remake in 2006 was worse. Has Hollywood really run out of ideas?
I know why this film was made. Low budget, add some hip hop music, give it a love story from 2 people from 2 different worlds and wow, you have a hit. It made back its original investment and then some, but it still is not that great of a film and the bad acting cannot overcome this minor hit.
15.The Hills Have Eyes
They remade this film and they are planning on a part 2 of this. May I please ask one question, WHY?” This one was bad enough, it offered nothing and it was a very bad remake of a 70’s cult-classic.
14.The Ant Bully
IMAX picked this film as their summer hit and it lost them about 20-30 million $ because of it. It had allot of promise but the political correctness of this films message, over and over and over, was just too much. When the film was finally over I could not believe that I went and saw this on the IMAX. A huge and costly mistake for all involved.
What in the heck were they thinking? It was a total miscast from the start of the 3 main leads. Kiefer Sutherland should had been the one being framed. Why was Eva Longoria even cast in this film? I know that she’s a great shot in real life, but she can’t act and this film fails because of that.
12.Fly Daddy Fly
Well this one sure was a huge failure for pretty boy, Lee Joon-Ki. The audience did not like me at this one. It was supposed to be a serious film; I took it as a comedy. NEITHER OF US WERE RIGHT, It was a huge bomb in the end. This was Lee’s follow up to “The Kingsman” In this film he’s Bruce Lee in his breakout film, “The Kingsman” he played the more sensitive role that drove the Korean women to this film. If he is going to make it as an actor, He must choose which one because, by this failure, he cannot do both.
11.Dorm Daze 2
It is actually getting released in a few foreign markets, so that is why it makes the list. Why was this junk even given a part 2? It tried to be “Porkys” but in the end it was just another rip off on the wall of shame.
10.Van Wilder 2
A #2 film without Van Wilder himself? I sure did not understand it either. It has small moments of laughter but overall a mistake from across the lake that we could all do without.
9.The Wicker Man
This was a very bad remake of a very good original film. Nicolas Cage, what were you thinking about when you said yes to this? Please pass at all cost on this.
8.Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The Beginning
The original is now a camp classic. This new version was just a bad attempt to make more $ of this once interesting idea of a film.
7. Let’s Go To Prison
Well I thought that it could have been funny but alas, I was wrong on this one. If you like really bad jokes and no plot at all, then this is the film for you. It was just 80 minutes too long and it might have worked best as a SNL sit instead of a movie.
6.The Grudge 2
For a horror film to work, you must be very afraid. The only thing I was afraid of was the $$ I lost seeing this junk of a film. It just never worked for ma and when it was over, I really felt it was just a huge waste of time and a badly edited film.
5.The Fast and Furious 3
Why was this film even called FF3? The ending kind of tied it all together but it was a very weak ending. Please if this is the best this franchise can do, put it out to pasture now.
It was a French Cartoon Movie that was re-voiced with American Actors and it was a huge bomb in the USA. I will state it again, “Do not dub or re-voice. It never works!” Korea has been doing it a lot lately and the cartoon films here have suffered because of it.
I still do not have a clue what the plot or purpose of this film was. It started out bad and ended worse. It was not even a very bad horror film. I usually like those kinds. This just left me feeling I lost I.Q. points.
2.Big Momma’s House 2
I saw this and I could not believe that this actually played in an American theater. It was just a very bad rehash of a somewhat funny film he did a few years earlier. It was a huge waste of theater space.
(Readers please realize I could have added about 40+ more films to this list but I decided that you should not have to watch allot of the bad films that I did this year.)
Now the winner of, “The Flynnie” for the most WTF film of the year, and the winner is………
1.DOA. Dead Or Alive
The film is based off of a popular computer game and, sad to say, it should have stayed on the computer. I have no idea what the film was aiming for, a bad rip off of, ‘Charlie’s Angels ‘, or a poor man’s version of, ‘Kill Bill” I watched it and was thinking, “The acting cannot be this bad?” It was! The film had a rip off plot of “Enter The Dragon” mixed with a joke of a love story. The film’s American release has been canceled and will go Straight-to-DVD in April, 2007.
Thank you my most excellent readers for your time and please see the good one and pass on the bad ones.